About a week or so ago, the news reported that there is a 50% high school dropout rate for inner city kids across America. I would be lying if I said that I was shocked, because the family structure has been in disarray for years. Negative situations such as alcoholic and abusive parents, sons in prison, daughters struggling to raise their children without the assistance from their children’s fathers, nieces ************ themselves to make ends meet, and nephews living on the street because of a drug problem they can’t kick are destroying our families and our society.

There are so many negative issues facing the family unit today. Where are the family matriarchs and patriarchs of yesteryear? Are there role models in the family unit anymore? Where is the leadership in the family unit?

Instead of worrying about what is occurring outside the front door, families need to come together and function as a unit behind closed doors. Family members need to create a culture of success, much like organizations (Microsoft or Pepsi) do. Those within the family that have achieved success (which is facilitated by leadership development) should lead this endeavour as they should have a better understanding of what needs to be done to bring about a positive change in the family unit’s thinking and behavior. It is up to these leaders within the family to teach their relatives how to effectively pursue and achieve their goals. Only through repeated success by others within the family unit can success become the dominant culture for current family members and future generations.

Just think about your family for a moment, there was at least one instance where some family member demonstrated leadership that you can model or use to inspire your greatness. No matter how dysfunctional your family may seem, there is usually at least one member that you can look to for inspiration and guidance. It may just take you a bit of digging to find him/her. If there is no current family member that has demonstrated leadership that inspires you, then you may have to look to the past, which is fine. It’s worth the effort, so take a look.

What did you come up with? Was it your great grandmother and great grandfather who immigrated to a young America in search of a better life for their family, your father who worked tirelessly to turn a mom and pop business into a family empire, your aunt who overcame an abusive relationship to be the first in the family to earn a college degree and purchase her own home, or your cousin who beat his drug addiction and now speaks to at risk youth about the pitfalls of drug abuse that inspires you?

Family members such these have demonstrated their leadership through their triumphs. If they are still with us, it is their duty to pass on their leadership insights to family members that are willing to learn. If they are no longer with us, it is up to us to gather as much information about their life, struggles, and triumphs so that we can learn from their leadership and use that knowledge as inspiration for our own leadership development. In either case, the goal is to gain leadership insights and pass them on to other family members so that a culture of success can be created and instilled in all family members.

Some of you may pose the question-”Am I my brother’s keeper?” Well, the simple answer to this question is, yes. However, this is not to say that we should overburden or destroy ourselves in an attempt to uplift family members that don’t want to help themselves. Nevertheless, it is our responsibility to help create a culture of success emphasizing personal

leadership development for each and every family member. If we don’t, who will? Furthermore, if we don’t, some if not all of the negative situations that we discussed earlier may begin to destroy those that we hold dearest. Creating a culture of success based on leadership development will help to deter family members from underachieving, as the kind of thinking and behavior that fosters negative situations will not be supported.

Why is leadership development in the family unit essential for society? Leadership development in the family unit is essential for society because every family member has the possibility to be a major contributor or detractor to society. Society would much rather have contributors (leaders) than detractors. For example, Joe Kennedy Sr. (former matriarch) of the Kennedy clan used his ambition and personal leadership as tools to create a political dynasty that has had a tremendous influence on society. Rest assured, Mr. Kennedy had family in mind in every step along his pursuit of success, which is a major reason why the Kennedy family has been such a major contributor to society over the years. We have to ask ourselves-What role do we want our family to have in influencing society? In answering this question, we must first acknowledge that our family is influencing society negatively or positively whether it’s our intention or not.

We need to become more aware of the power of the family unit. We need to infuse our families with leadership. We must accept that it is the family unit that has the power to keep our children in school. It is the family unit that has the power to keep its members off of drugs and alcohol. It is the family unit that has the power to nurture, encourage, and inspire one another to greatness. However, for all of this to occur, leaders within the family have to step up to the plate and begin creating the conditions for success. These leaders have to show the others how to lead.

Am I my brother’s keeper? Yes, I am. We all are. We are our sister’s, aunt’s, mother’s, nephew’s, father’s, uncle’s, children’s, and cousin’s keeper. If not us, then who?

By: Dr. Mario Barrett, Ph.D.

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